Leapt, and flew ...

Updated: Mar 19, 2019

And we begin again, starting off on an entirely new train of life, but with the old, beautiful bits in our back pockets. After the scariest, realist and most happiest days of my life at university and running around after my beautiful pals, I've decided that I better try and get my act together for once and for all. It seems that we're all in a scary ship at the moment, and as wanky as I am, why not give the old self-absorption thing one last shot and start a sharing things, people, places and stories in a little, vulnerable hole on the internet -  a box of broken, battered, old eggs. The past few years have been held the most rocky, turbulent but the best experiences ever; I've lost myself and found myself a thousand times over again and again. But the degree's done, I've got my true best friends for life, the most beautiful memories and a slight sense of self-worth (what?!) Let's see what happens here, making a home out of myself, over-romanticising everything to try and find some deep meaning and jumping into a big old mosh pit for the bruises and banging headache ...

For now, this is me, Lottie, aged 22 ...

I have ginger hair. I have a degree in Textile Design. I am a Pisces, with a Leo rising and Sagittarius moon, sometimes I sleep under the stars so I guess it means something. I "do" art, or so they say. I write, I weave, I loom, I bloom. I lived in Cornwall, where I found the sea, myself and my soulmates. I swear all the time, have a fiery temper and am an unapologetic mess under the facade of a cliché, giggling redhead. I'm in a bit of a life limbo stage, embarking on a "lost year" with my days spent in Salisbury - going to the library, swimming and life drawing club, all whilst planning my next big explore and 4am pub trips. I like it that my feet never stop walking - over hills, and rivers, and mountains until I come right back home. My highly-strung mind never stops, and it scares me. My nose likes the smell of popped party poppers, watermelon and candles.

Despite being sporadic in mood and mind, I'm the most highly organised being, never late to a thing. Anything can truly be cured by a big mug of tea, a bath and an episode of Eastenders. The best nights of the year are those of nostalgia and tradition, under fireworks, beaches and bonfires. My mouth likes dried fruit, raw carrots and red cabbage. My emotions are very turbulent, I tear up a lot and can be a massive self-righteous asshole. My tea is a dark brown, teeny splash of milk. My eyes are all about old rusty, peeling things, yellow ochre and the infinite beauty within the colour grey. I find meaning and feeling in every little thing possible. My body wears dungarees, jeans and oversized shirts, grey velvet when I'm feeling fancy and a big yellow coat when I'm feeling cold. My ears listen to anything, from old jazz to Florence and I mosh to punk band's covers of Dua Lipa in dingy pubs. My body isn't always nice to me, and my mind isn't either, but you've got to keep smiling through it.

My bedroom is filled with old, overly-nostalgic objects I've collected from time gone by, books, plants, fairy lights and white bed sheets. Sometimes my throat wheezes and my bones crack. I like to watch old 90's art films or horror movies under the duvet, make mood boards of dreamy interiors and develop film photos. My indulgent, entitled dream is to have my little nest, filled with meaningful bollocks and an open door. Philosophy, art, spirituality, psychology and social science are my true obsessions, whilst one day I'd love to work within the old art and education world. Until then, I guess I'm just trying to be the best possible human I can be, as I am right now, and have a bloody laugh again. 

Lottie Matthews © 2020
  • LinkedIn - Grey Circle
  • Instagram - Grey Circle