Self at 24

I have ginger hair. I am a freelance creative practitioner and currently working towards my Masters in Creative Education. I am a Pisces, with a Leo rising and Sagittarius moon. I live in the little nest of Totnes in Devon and work in an interior and lifestyle store selling mugs and grey linen sofas. I work alongside socially engaged art charities to explore creative engagement and social spaces. I want to find the wonder within my own work once more, reclaiming concrete bricks and building my own world.

The world is currently in a global pandemic, forcing us all into moments of rest, leaving me writing and sleeping once more. I collect photographs of little nooks in homes and blossoming bodies in hope to fall back in love with my own. My body dresses in many layers of grey linen, dungarees and midi dresses matched with marled grey socks and docs. I wear silver hoops in my ears, and occasionally hammered golden pips. The world of mental health is where I tilter between, trying to bring my chaos back to calm. Occasionally personality disorders and illness takes over, but in this I've learnt to take theses seeds and share these as my own worth.  My tea is a dark brown, teeny splash of milk. My favourite TV shows are the best of British Friday evenings, with Gogglebox and This Country, reminding me of countryside home and watching artistic films. My dream is to work within community creativity and have my own renovated house project, driving about in dirty Defenders.


I have an affinity with yellow flowers and try to lighten up my life with bunches of daffodils. I live in a beamed fairy attic, covering the walls in white paper and potted plants line beside mirrors and found clogs. I own a drum and a turtle flute as my own musical magic. I read books on poetic spaces, theoretical studies or reminiscent melancholia. I try to throw confetti in the air and spark some form of spontaneous joy, but also moody mellow in dirty duvets. My dream days are filled with reading under covers, river walks and kitchen tiled dancing. I love nothing more than an organised diary or a lame written to do list. My best friends are spread from cities and little towns, I miss them more and more each day but we see each other in galleries of art and reunion sleepovers. I ring my Nana every day and spend many evenings on destructive behaviors, but disco dance in breweries and ball rooms. I'm trying to rebuild my love and world far apart from my friends and family.  I drive really fast down country lanes in my grey Renault Clio and blast out sounds of angsty mellow music and folk silked beats. I love nothing more than raw nut bars, a gluten free lager and an avocado filled cheesy chilli. I am building a better self with a daily written ritual, stretch and tea in bed before I go out in the world to meet and laugh with more people and disco beats.

Lottie Matthews © 2020
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